Over the years, you pick up on society’s preconceptions of what should give you happiness and what shouldn’t. But when you evaluate what really gives you happiness, you become aware that happiness can often come from unexpected sources; and what we expect should give happiness often disappoints.

I remember when very young, I would spend weeks and weeks getting excited about Christmas. The only reason for the great excitement was all the presents that I hoped would come my way. I remember one particular Christmas morning being terribly unhappy. My assortment of socks, woolly jumpers and “improving” books were not at all what I had wanted. It proved an early lesson in the realisation that the expectation of material goods could easily lead to disappointment and unhappiness.

These days, I no longer expect a big sack of presents from Santa, but Christmas has become a particular favourite time of the year. What I enjoy about Christmas is the fact the world slows down. There is no need to work, no need to check my emails and all those little things of modern life (which are supposed to make our lives easier, but actually seem to increase tension). For a few days over Christmas, there is that freedom to switch off from the demands of our work. There is more time for music, reflection and meditation. I find at Christmas, my meditation improves markedly. Quite often, my early morning meditation is slightly compromised by a list of things to do – nagging at the back of my mind. But, when you can really switch off – contemplation and meditation come much more easily.

The Christmas vacation reminds us how a slower pace of life can afford the opportunity to discover real happiness. But happiness isn’t just to be found in a slower pace of life. In fact, an even greater happiness can be found when we find ourselves in the maelstrom of life seeking to offer something to like-minded people.

When we think of our happiness, we tend to think in terms of what can we receive. We perhaps think of ourselves in a comfortable situation, with nice things happening to us. But one of the most valuable lessons I learnt from my spiritual teacher, Sri Chinmoy, is that our happiness can be magnified when we forget about our self and are in a position to offer something to others. If we grasp at happiness for ourselves, it eludes our grip. But, if we forget our own happiness and seek to serve others – happiness seems to come effortlessly.

‘We have to live in the root and this root is happiness. How can we live in the root all the time? We can live in the root only by self-giving: giving what we have and what we are.’

Sri Chinmoy [1]

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